Today is brought to you by the letter “A” for anxiety

I’ve been experiencing writer’s block for a while. Not with work, mind you, as I’ve done some pretty amazing work lately – if I do say so myself. But I’ve found that it’s hard to write about me and my continuing adventures with cancer. Maybe I’m just tired or maybe it’s that I know the…

I had an assignment in my Leadership Lawrence class this week to work on a poem for our final retreat. (I can’t believe that’s here already!) I haven’t felt much like writing lately (stupid chemo) but this one got me going, and now I’m sharing it with you. I am from an ordinary life,From baseball…

It occurred to me the other day in the shower – yes, I do some of my best thinking when I’m in there – that I’ve broken down one time about my diagnosis. I didn’t dissolve into body wracking sobs when I learned about this foreign invader, though that would seem like the logical time.…

Funerals are weird, especially family funerals. There’s a strange juxtaposition of the sadness you feel mourning someone you love deeply and the excitement of seeing family members you haven’t seen in quite some time. It was with these mixed emotions that Brian, Rachel and I set off for Fort Worth on January 13 to remember…

Today sucks. I mean it really sucks. Why? Thanks for asking. I’d love to tell you. (Thanks, Elyse Myers.) Today is the day that my hair meets the buzz saw – clippers, really. It was a week ago today that Brian and I met my hair guru, Brad Hestand, and he helped me go from…

I won’t bore you with all the details, but the port placement went off without a hitch (a huge thank you to my trusty sidekick, Alexis). The ECHO and chemo class both went well, and I was cleared to start treatment on December 22. It had snowed the night before so after Brian warmed up…

Our appointment with Dr. Barr was set for Friday, December 16. We’d learn what the final pathology report showed, the cancer’s stage and what our plan of attack would be. That’s all I wanted – a plan. The not knowing had been the worst part. I felt like I was living in limbo, unsure what…

Brian and I were set to meet with Dr. Hawasli the following Tuesday morning but before we did, I had to have yet another mammogram. When Dr. Patrick performed the biopsy, he placed a clip about the size of a grain of rice near the mass to help mark its location. One quick scan showed…

It came time to finally tell my folks about my diagnosis. To say this was a conversation I wasn’t looking forward to would be an understatement. But I was lucky enough to have my trusty sidekick with me, so Rachel and I set out on Saturday morning and headed to Topeka to share the news.…

On the outside, I stayed cool as a cucumber. I was sitting in the middle of the office, perched on my chair trying to take everything in and trying not to pass out. But I was screaming inside. “Wait, what? I couldn’t have heard Dr. Hawasli right. Cancer? I’m 45. I don’t have any symptoms.…